The Blessing of Tears
by invisibleink90
Summary: Cattle drives, illness, and painful memories surface as the Cartwright family is tested to the limit. Please please please review!
1. Chapter 1

The Blessing of Tears

Adam Cartwright sat on his horse and surveyed the day's success. His thoughts strayed from his work to the upcoming cattle drive to Sacramento. Pa would tell them who would accompany him tonight after dinner.

Adam sighed. "Sometimes," he thought, "I wish I could read Pa's mind." He reached out and brushed a fly off the bill of his hat. "Who went last year?" he tried to remember.

When he couldn't remember, he wondered about who he would like to go with. "Hoss is always fun." Adam thought with a smile. "There is Joe. Two handfuls and brimming with energy. He could make the trip go by faster or much slower, depending on his mood." He shook his head. "Then there's Jeni. I know she could pull more than her weight, but the trip would be miserable. Jeni seems to harbor hatred towards me and takes every opportunity to display it." He continued thinking, hoping he was chosen to go to Sacramento.

His thoughts were abruptly interrupted by a loud, "Adam!"

Hoss' presence, and loud proclamation of his name, brought Adam back from thoughts of Sacramento, women, and women in Sacramento.

"What?" Adam called back to his brother.

"Time to get on home, brother." Hoss replied.

Adam rode up to join his brother and they began riding back to the house. The silent ride lasted about a minute, typical of the talkative middle brother.

"You looked miles away back there." Hoss said.

"I was thinking about the cattle drive." Adam admitted.

Hoss nodded. "I thought so. We all are. 'Specially Joe and Jeni."

Adam glanced over at Hoss. "Why 'specially' the twins?" he questioned.

"Cause they've never gone before and since they've turned 16 now they were hoping to get to go." Hoss explained.

As Hoss spoke, he turned in his saddle in response to the sound of galloping hooves.

"Hiya, fellas!" Joe yelled as he pulled up on the reins of his horse to slow him from the run it had taken to catch him up with his brothers.

"I was wondering how long civilized talk would last." Adam said, rolling his eyes in an exaggerated manner.

Joe grinned and ignored the sarcasm. "So, who do you think is goin' on the drive this year?" He asked. Before anyone had time to respond, another rider joined the group. This rider, unlike the previous three, was female. She was tall, lean, and, despite her auburn hair, looked like a girl version of Little Joe.

"Hey boys!" Jeni greeted as she approached her brothers.

"Howdy, little sister." Hoss smiled.

"Hola, evil twin, who is younger than me." Joe smirked.

"Buenos noches to you too, lunkhead who was born only minutes before me." Jeni replied, laughing.

"I don't get a hello?" Adam asked, feigning hurt.

"Bonjour" Jeni replied with a biting tone.

"Well, well, well, aren't we just so refined?" Adam teased, hoping she wasn't mad.

Jeni sniffed. "Well someone around here has to be."

"And we all know it must be the pants wearing, bronc-breaking, hole-digging, barn-building, fence-mending, overall disgrace to the female gender." Joe remarked smartly.

Jeni snorted under her breath. "Obviously…"

As the siblings laughed at each others' expense, they neared the house.

"All this teasing stuff is making me even hungrier." Hoss mock whined.

"Aw, Hoss." Jeni interjected. "You're just looking for an excuse to start dinner early."

"I think we are all looking for an excuse to start and end dinner early." Adam said knowingly.

They all came to a stop in front of the main barn by the house to put their horses in for the night and headed purposefully toward the house.

Hoss led the way through the door with enthusiasm. "Hop Sing!" he shouted. "I'm so hungry I could eat a room full of bears!"

"In that case, feed the rest of us first." Jeni joked then laughed at Hoss' stricken face.

"Well, Hop Sing, it seems as if you have outdone yourself once again." Adam complimented as he surveyed the evening's feast before them.

Hop Sing smiled a small smile then rattled of something in Cantonese.

"You are my hero, Hop Sing!" Hoss declared. "Even if you do speak gibberish."

"Yeah, you're great!" Joe said then hastily added. "Now let's eat. I'm starved!" Just as the words left his mouth, Joe's stomach growled loudly.

"Wow, Joe." Adam spoke sarcastically. "How long did you practice to perfect that trick?" Joe grinned and with that, dinner began.

After dinner, the Cartwright family gathered in the living room; Adam, reading Shakespeare, and Jeni, reading Dickens, sat in armchairs while Joe and Hoss played a heated game of checkers on the coffee table. Ben glanced up from the paper he was reading. All his children were staying at him. When he looked up, they all quickly went back to their tasks. Ben silently stifled a laugh. They all wanted to know who was going on the trip. He decided to have a little fun.

"Jeni?" He spoke into the silence.

Jeni looked up from her book. "Sir?"

"Joe?" Ben spoke again.

"Yes?" Joe acknowledged.

"Don't you two think it's about time you went on to bed?"

Jeni's jaw dropped and her eyes went wide. She quickly recovered and responded sadly. "I guess so, Pa." She wore an expression that said all hope was gone and the world was ending, right then.

Ben could not contain his mirth any longer and burst into laughter. Jeni looked bewildered and hurt, and then it registered. "Pa!" she exclaimed. "That… that was… corrupt, evil, malicious, unchristian…" she blurted out, flustered.

The boys whooped with laughter and, secretly, relief. They thought their father had forgotten, just as Jeni had thought.

"Oh Jeni." Ben continued laughing, "I wish you could have seen the look on your face!"

"Well, I am so glad you've all had yet another laugh at my expense. It's always a pleasure." Jeni replied with mock seriousness.

Ben smiled. "Okay, all teasing aside, I'll tell you all my decision." They all looked at him eagerly, books closed and the checker game neglected. "As I thought about who should join me on the trip to Sacramento, I considered all of you thinking about who deserved it the most. I thought about the long hard winter we had and all the work we all put into surviving that terrible blizzard." Everyone nodded at the memories.

"Then it occurred to me," Ben continued, "You all deserve it equally. We haven't ever all gone on a drive together."

"YAAHOO!" Jeni shouted, jumping up and, to Joe's dismay and Hoss' relief, knocking over the checker board. "I mean…uh… continue." Jeni said, embarrassed but still smiling.

"Are you serious, Pa?" Joe asked.

At Ben's nod, Hoss grinned. "Well, you guys get to look forward to my legendary mesquite beans."

Adam laughed. "Oh yes, my favorite part." He made a face that betrayed his statement.

At that, they all began talking and planning with excitement about the upcoming trip.

Ben grinned as he listened to the chatter. "I wonder how long the enthusiasm will last." He thought knowingly.


	2. Chapter 2

"Rise and shine, sleepyhead!" Hoss said energetically while attempting to rouse Joe from deep slumber.

"Aw, Hoss" Joe groaned. "Why do you have to be so dog-gone cheerful?"

Hoss grinned. "It's the last day on the trail, that's reason enough to be cheerful."

Adam rolled over, then forced himself to sit then, eventually, stand up. He walked by Jeni's sleeping form and lightly nudged her with his foot. "Jen. Jen!" Adam called, trying to wake her.

Jeni mumbled something about not wanting breakfast and Adam heard a faint "Five more minutes you big louse" directed at him as she rolled over putting her back to him.

"We are getting to Sacramento today." Adam spoke in a persuasive tone. "That means hot baths, good food, and soft beds."

Jeni slowly sat up, blinking, trying to shake sleep out of her eyes.

"That usually does the trick." Adam whispered to Hoss.

Hoss grinned again. "I know another trick." He responded as Jeni slumped back onto her bed roll. Hoss walked over to Jeni with canteen in hand. Upon reaching her, he dumped the entire contents on her head.

Jeni shot up, sputtering. "HOSS!" She coughed. "I can't believe…" She coughed up more water. "You…" She finally caught her breath. "Revenge will come, oh so sweetly. You just wait!" She threatened angrily.

Hoss, Adam, and Joe were laughing so hard, their faces turned red.

Jeni was not amused. "Hey!" she yelled over the noise of her brothers' laughter. "Where's Pa?" she asked.

They all glanced at his bed roll. He was still in it.

"Hoss, how about you try your canteen trick on Pa?" Joe smirked.

Adam frowned. This was uncharacteristic of Pa. He was always the first one up in the mornings, not matter how hard of a day they had experienced the day before. Adam walked over to his father, kneeled beside him, and touched him lightly on the shoulder. Ben didn't move. Adam's hand went to his father's forehead. It was burning up. "Pa." Adam shook Ben.

"I'll do the ledgers later." Ben moaned deliriously.

Jeni rushed over to her father's side. At the sight of his flushed face, she blanched. "Adam, we've got to get him to a doctor. Now!"

Adam anxiously paced the floor of their hotel room. Jeni, Joe, and Hoss all sat, crammed onto a normally two person couch, impatiently staring at the closed door to the adjoining room. The door opened. Those previously on the couch shot to their feet, waiting for the diagnosis.

"Scarlet fever." The young doctor pronounced shortly.

Joe gave a confused look. "But Doctor," he questioned, "we've all had scarlet fever as children and Pa was exposed to it each time one of us had it. Why did he not get it until now?"

The doctor sighed, bored. "A miracle, I suppose." He responded with a condescending look.

Seeing Joe's nostrils flare and jaw set in anger, Adam stepped between the two. "Just how bad of a case are we talking?" Adam asked.

"Your father has all the classic symptoms of a severe case of scarlet fever. The major symptoms will be severe throat pain and a high fever that may cause hallucinations." The doctor replied, distracted by a woman crossing on the street below.

"Hallucinations?" Hoss asked.

The doctor rolled his eyes. "That occasionally happens. I doubt it will in this case, but it did make things more interesting for a moment there." He heaved a preoccupied sigh once more. "Here are some medications and instructions." The doctor spat out as he headed towards the exit. "I do hope at least one of you can read."

"Now see here…" Jeni started towards the man, contempt in her eyes.

Adam again stepped forward between the doctor and his sibling, earning a dark glare from his sister. "Now Doctor, as I understand the situation, my father has a severe case of scarlet fever and you are leaving us with instructions and medicine to treat him." Adam recapped.

"Yes." The doctor snapped. "I am a very busy man with too much education to sit here with you hillbillies all day. Besides, I have never had scarlet fever and there is a baby of a wealthy man being born on the other side of town. I cannot afford to linger here. Good night!" And with that, the illustrious doctor slammed the door and was gone.

"Why of all the low-down, cowardly, contemptuous men." Joe seethed.

"Dadburnit, Little Joe." Hoss said, interrupting Joe's rant. "We can't be worrrin' 'bout that right now. We need to get Pa better first. Then we can go beat the tar outta that there lousy excuse for a doctor." Hoss looked to Adam for support.

Adam stood there, very angry. If there was one thing he couldn't stand it was to be looked down upon. "Well," Adam tried to recover from the incident quickly to take charge of the new situation. "Let's take a look at these directions given to us by the town's…good doctor."

Jeni sat by her father's side. She put cool, wet cloths on his forehead, talked soothingly, prayed, then repeated as she had for the past 3 days. It was all there was to do and the lack of action worried her. She sighed. "Pa," she whispered, "Get well. Please."

"Hey." Adam's entrance to the sick room jolted Jeni.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"It's my shift." He stated.

"Adam Cartwright, do you think I am stupid!" she whispered furiously. "I know that my shift ends at exactly 3 o'clock a.m. and I know how to tell time and the clock clearly says 2!"

Adam sighed. "Nothing gets past you, huh?"

Jeni's face fell. "Adam, I'm so worried. What if…"

"Don't say it!" Adam sharply interrupted.

Jeni flinched. "Sorry." She mumbled then turned back to her father as Ben moaned.

Adam put his hand on Jeni's shoulder. She shrugged his hand off. He backed up. "No, I'm sorry. I'll go back to bed now."

As Adam left the room, Jeni called out, "Adam! Adam, wait!" She sobbed and ran to him. "Adam, I'm so scared."

Adam pulled his sister into his arms. "Shh… It will be alright." He comforted. "Pa will be fine. He always comes out okay."

Jeni abruptly pushed back and quickly wiped the tears from her eyes. "I'm sorry." She said shortly. "That was stupid of me."

Adam was confused. It was like someone had flipped a switch and for a brief moment Jeni had been transparent with him, but now it was back to business. "Jeni, it wasn't stupid." He replied. "It was actually kind of…nice."

Jeni's mouth flew open to respond with a sarcastic retort, but Adam stopped her. "What I mean is that you haven't been that real with me for a long time. I can't remember the last time you acted like you needed me."

Jeni breathed deeply. "Adam, no matter how I act, I'll always need you. It's just…" she trailed off.

"It's just what?" Adam asked trying to pull words out of his reluctant sister.

Jeni's brow creased as if she was trying to remember something then she winced at the headache that exploded behind her eyes. She put her hand to her head. "Nothing." She responded.

Just as Adam was about to pry further into the cryptic "nothing" Ben moaned softly.

"I'd better see to Pa." Jeni stated. "I'll switch with you in about an hour." She quickly turned and went back to tending to her father.

Adam frowned, knowing the brief window into Jeni's thoughts was closed. "Something is wrong." He thought to himself. "She is hiding something. Something has hurt her deeply and she feels like she can't tell me. I can't help her and it's killing me."

Fifteen minutes later, Jeni sat back in her chair. She sighed. Ben went through periods of hallucinations, tossing, and turning then went straight into a restful, quiet state. The quiet state was worse than the hallucinations for the caretaker. That gave one time to think.

So, Jeni thought. She thought back. It's funny how times of trial send you to the past. Jeni thought about Adam which made her remember when everything had changed. It had all started with the roaring beast of higher education: college.

6 years earlier…

"Adam, I wish you the best of luck and give you a father's blessing." Ben said, emotionally. "Remember, you will always have a home and people who love you here."

"I know." Adam replied with a smile and hug for his father. Then Adam looked at his big-hearted brother. "Hoss, I'm expecting you to write and tell me about everything that's happened. Watch out for Little Joe and Jeni. I'm counting on you to keep them out of any serious trouble. I know you can do it."

Fourteen year old Hoss beamed with pride. "I'll do my best, Adam. I'll miss ya. Don't stay gone too long."

"I won't." Adam promised. He moved down the line of family standing at the stage coach stop to mischief personified. "Joe," Adam began, "I want you to be good while I'm gone. Look out for everyone. You need to write me too."

"I will, Adam. I'll be the best writer ever!" Ten year old Joe boasted. "I'll miss you, Adam." Joe said seriously, then he put one hand on his hip, wagged his finger at Adam, adopted a deep voice that resembled, in a ten year old way, his father's and ordered "You stay outta trouble, hear?"

Adam smiled and bent down to hug him. "Bye little buddy." Then Adam moved to the last, and possibly hardest, goodbye of all. "Jeni, you'd better look after Pa. You need to keep him in line while I'm gone."

Jeni's tear-stained face looked up at her brother's. "But…but Adam th..that's your job." She tried to act brave and hold the tears at bay as she struggled to say what she'd been thinking for so long. "Adam, d…don't you love us anym..more? Am I n..n..not smart en..nough? Is it 'c..cause I st..stutter and m..mix my words up?" She struggled to convey her feelings into the broken sentences.

"No! No! Jeni, it's not that at all!" Adam tried to assure her. "I'm not leaving because I don't love you. I'm not leaving forever. I'm just going to school. I'll be back." He held her small frame as she sobbed into his shoulder.

"Adam," Jeni cried into his shoulder, "Who am I g..gonna t..talk t..to? Who is gonna sh..show me how t..to do m..my…" Here Jeni stumbled over a particularly difficult word that only slightly resembled the originally intended word.

"Arithmetic." Adam supplied.

"Yeah and w..what if m..my w..word..ds m..mix up and n..no one und..derst..tands w..what I'm t..trying t..to say?" Jeni sniffled and looked at Adam in the eyes so he could understand what she was trying to tell him.

Adam dried her tears. "Well, hon, Pa's here too, you know. So if you look after him I'm sure he will look after you."

"Listen, I have an idea." Ben offered. "How about you write Adam and he can correct your letters and send them back with another and you read it aloud to me?"

Adam sent his Pa a look of thanks. "Yeah, Jen. Then it would be just like I was teaching you."

Jeni's chin trembled. "Exc..cept you'd b..be th..there w..would..dn't." She paused, frustrated. "I m..mean, w..would..dn't b..be th..there." She sputtered.

"I love you, Jeni and I hope you will write me." Adam tried to console her. "I'd get awful lonely not hearing from my favorite sister." Adam pretended to look sad.

Jeni replied, "B..but Adam, I'm your on..nly s..sist..ter. How c..can I b..be your f..fav..vorite?"

Adam smiled. "Because I would pick you over any choice of sisters any day."

Jeni glowed. "I l..love you and I'll m..miss you and I'll w..write you and you'll n..n..need to c..come b..back s..s..soon." She said in a rush of stuttered and rearranged words that were barely decipherable.

Adam laughed. "Of course, Jen. I love you all too much to stay away for too long." The sound of an approaching stage signified Adam's departure. "There's my stage and I'm off!" He said excitedly. Remember Jeni, take good care of Pa!" Adam boarded the stage and waved out the window one last time as the stage left.

Ben began walking away as the stage faded into the distance.

"Pa!" Jeni shouted.

"What? What's wrong?" Ben asked, startled by this loud outburst from his usually quiet child.

"W..where d..do you th..think you're g..g..going? Adam t..told m..me t..to k..keep you outta tr..troub..ble and th..that's w..what I p..plan on d..doing." Jeni marched over to her father and grabbed his hand tightly. "I l..love you, Pa." She whispered.

"Love you too." Ben whispered back. "Good job, Adam." He thought. "I hope this feeling lasts." But with a father's intuition, he knew it wouldn't. The only question was, how long?

The answer was, not long enough. In the magic of puberty, the spell Adam had cast wore out like a 13 year old fan belt. Or, more precisely, a 13 year old girl.

One morning at about 2 o'clock, a shriek split the heavy quiet. "PA! OH MY GOSH! PA, I'M B..BLEEDING!" Jeni cried out.

Ben rushed to Jeni's room to find her in a camisole top and a towel wrapped around her waist. Blood stains were on her sheets and bed clothes. Joe and Hoss rushed in after their father.

"Pa! G..get them out!" Jeni screamed as she tried to cover herself and hold the towel around her thin waist.

Hoss realized what was going on and tripped over Joe in his attempt at a hasty exit. Joe, bewildered, tried following his brother's lead, but fell over Hoss and landed on top of him. Jeni's screams and the boys' apologies created an unprecedented chaos in the Cartwright household.

"BOYS!" Ben bellowed. "Get back to bed NOW!"

Jeni's screams quieted to soft hiccups as the boys scrambled out and closed the door behind them. Ben walked over to his daughter. "I knew this day would come." Ben started to explain. "But I'm not sure I was ready."

"Y..y..you weren't ready?" Jeni shot sarcastically.

"Oh great. " Ben thought. " I, um.." he tried to recover. "How about I let you get dressed and we get Hop Sing to get you some clean sheets. We have a lot to talk about."

And, boy, did they have a lot to talk about.

Jeni continued to work the same as she always had, just as hard as her brothers did and her speech improved to where she only rarely stuttered. When Adam stopped writing, however, she had felt rejected and hormones didn't help the situation. When he came back, she was a young woman. She'd grown up and he'd missed it. Most of all, he didn't seem to care.

Jeni jolted back to the present when she heard her father talking. "Marie?" Ben moaned. "Marie?"

"Not again." Jeni thought. "Yes, Ben." She tried.

Ben looked confused. "You're not Marie. Who are you?"

"It's me, Jeni." Jeni tried to explain. "Your daughter. Marie's daughter."

Ben moaned again. "Marie, make it go away. Make the pain go away. Marie!" he cried desperately, thrashing on the bed, threatening to injure himself or Jeni.

"Adam!" Jeni yelled as she tried to hold her father down. "Adam, help!" She couldn't keep him still. He sat up, pushing Jeni onto the floor. She stood quickly trying to calm him.

"Marie, Marie don't leave me!" Ben called out. "Please don't leave!" he deliriously reached out and grabbed Jeni's arms. "Marie!" he shook Jeni. "Don't leave me!" he shouted.

"Pa! Pa, it's me, Jeni!" she cried, desperately trying to pry his hands off. A cry of pain escaped her lips as he tightened his grip.

"You're not Marie." Ben looked confused and betrayed, then outraged. "Get out of you hussy! I'm married! Go lure someone else into your trap!"

As Adam burst into the room, Ben hurled Jeni across the room into a wall. Adam launched onto his father and used all his weight to keep him down. "Hoss!" Adam shouted. "Help me!"

Hoss came in the room and helped Adam hold Ben until the fit subsided and he drifted off into a fitful sleep.

Joe sleepily staggered in and surveyed the damage. "Wow." He said. "Where's Jeni?"

Adam started. "Oh no!"

Jeni was slumped against a wall, unconscious.

"Jeni?" Adam picked her up gently and carefully laid her on the couch. "Jeni, please wake up?" Adam pleaded.

Jeni moaned. Her eyelids fluttered open. "Pa?" she questioned groggily.

"Is fine." Hoss finished. "How 'bout yourself, sport?"

"Bruised, concussed, and…" Jeni tried to move her left wrist then bit down on her lip. "Apparently broken." She concluded dryly. She glanced at Adam as the clock struck 3. "Your watch." She mumbled as she fainted.

"Well," Adam thought, "Just when I think it can't get any worse Fate says 'Hello Adam Cartwright! I haven't dealt you a blow in a while. Here: take two!' Dang." He shook his head. "Well Jeni," he continued thinking to himself, "You were wrong. Your wrist is only sprained. Fate has a nice side to it. Lovely." He rolled his eyes. "Why didn't she just let me take watch early?" he asked himself. "But no! She can handle it, she says. Why does she always act like she can handle it?" Adam stopped himself. "Because she is like you. She thinks she has to handle it all. She thinks she has to pull her weight to gain respect." Adam's conscience bombarded him with the truth.

Jeni moaned softly. This did not surprise Adam. Jeni talked in her sleep, more often than not it was only little moans and incomprehensible gibberish. She moaned again. Through her moan, the word 'Adam' escaped. Adam leaned closer.

"Adam?" she spoke clearly. "Adam, please. Please come home. I need you." Jeni's voice grew louder and more panicked. "Adam? Stop! You're hurting me!" she thrashed, fighting some unseen enemy.

Adam's face registered shock. "What?" he thought. "What was she talking about?" These thoughts swirled in his mind as he calmed her and she settled down again.

Hoss walked in on a bewildered Adam. "Adam, why do you look like you just saw a cow jump over the moon?"

Adam stood up quickly, grabbed Hoss by the shoulders, and asked urgently "Hoss, when I went to college, what happened?"

"Umm… lots of things happened, Adam. You were gone a long time." Answered a confused Hoss.

"No! Like to Jeni!" Adam clarified hastily.

Hoss shook his head as he searched his memory. "Uhh…" Then something clicked in Hoss' mind. He looked sick. "Oh no."

"Oh no, what!" Adam demanded.

"What did she say?" Hoss asked with dread.

"Oh, she only cried in agony, pleading for me to come home then begging me to stop hurting her!" Adam answered in a biting tone.

Hoss grimaced. "I was afraid of this."

"Afraid of what!" Adam asked. "Dang you Hoss, tell me what the heck is going on!"

Just then, Joe ran into the room. "Adam, Hoss! It's Pa! His fever has broken!"

Hoss looked relieved. "Well that's swell." He said, a grin spreading across his face.

"And," Joe added, looking at Hoss, "It's your watch."

Hoss looked at Adam then darted out of the room.

"What's gotten into him?" Joe's eyes went wide as he looked at his eldest brother. "Gosh Adam, you look like you're either about to cry or spit nails." Joe said, cautiously watching his brother for any sudden movement.

"Okay Joe, the burden then shifts to you." Adam glared.

"What burden?" Joe asked nervously, making the distance between him and Adam wider and wider.

Jeni moaned again. "Adam." She mumbled. "Adam, please come home."

Joe went white.

"Adam, please. I need you." Jeni rolled off the couch and landed with a scream. "Adam! Adam, please make it stop! Please!" She sobbed.

Adam ran to her and picked her up off the floor, holding her close like the one he had when she was a small child. "Shah… It's alright, hon. I'm here." He soothed.

Jeni's eyes shot open, but the un-recognition in her eyes proved that she was still asleep, dreaming. "Adam?" she slurred. "Is it... is it really you? No. It c... c... cannot be. He didn't come b..back. He left m..me to d..die." she sobbed uncontrollably into Adam's shoulder. Joe stood by looking guilty and feeling stupid for not being able to do anything. Tears fell unchecked down Adam's face. Jeni slowly fell back into a restless sleep.

"Adam… Adam, I'm sorry. We should have told you." Joe reached out to put his hand on Adam's shoulder as Adam laid Jeni back on the couch.

Adam turned and faced Joe, looking broken. "Joe." He choked out. "Please, tell me what happened."

"Are you sure you want to know?" Joe asked. "It isn't a pretty story."

Adam responded as he took a seat. "I absolutely want to know."

After sitting down, Joe took a deep breath. "Well, I guess it sorta started when she..ah..she..well.." Joe searched for the right words. "…became a woman." He resolved lamely.

Adam looked at Joe in confusion. "Became a woman?" he repeated.

"Yeah, you know, uh..became a woman." Joe struggled to make Adam understand what he was trying to say without actually saying it.

Then it clicked in Adam's head. "Oh! Became a woman!" he exclaimed.

"Yeah." Joe said with relief. "But that wasn't the main part. That was when she went missing."

"She what!" Adam stood up. "Joe, you are indisputably the world's worst storyteller. Please, just tell me exactly what happened!"

"Okay." Joe took another deep breath. "Here it goes. You might want to sit back down. It's a long story."


	3. Chapter 3

(FLASHBACK)

Hoss sat down at the table looking ready for action. He reached for the toast and brought it to his mouth.

"Hoss!"

Hoss dropped the bread and jumped up from his chair.

"Hoss," his father scolded, "You must wait for the twins. You know that. How old are you?"

Hoss looked down guiltily. "17" he murmured.

"Act it." Ben replied. His expression softened. "Or at least ask me if you can start without them."

Hoss' face resumed its normal grin as he asked if he could eat.

As Hoss began eating again, Joe stumbled down the stairs, hair sticking out wildly, eyes half closed, shirt half tucked and completely unbuttoned.

"Joseph Cartwright!" Ben bellowed at his 13 year old son.

Joe was startled by the noise and tripped, falling down the last 3 steps. He scrambled to his feet yelling, "It's the Indians! Get down! We're under attack!" With those words of warning, he dove behind the settee.

Hoss howled with laughter.

Joe peeked over the back of the settee with a look of confusion, and then he stood up sheepishly.

"Joe, you shoulda seen…" Hoss gasped for breath between fits of laughter. "Whew, little brother, that's the funniest thing I've seen since…" Hoss twisted his face in thought. "Since the last time you fell down the stairs!" Hoss slapped his knee and whooped in laughter.

Ben struggled to maintain a stern face as Joe miserably hung his head in preparation for the inevitable lecture. "Joe, please button your shirt, tuck it in all the way, at least run your fingers through your hair, and leave the poor Indians in peace."

Joe looked surprised at the short list then grinned as he straightened his appearance. "Sure thing, Pa." he replied. As he turned towards the table, he groaned. "Hoss, did you leave me anything to eat at all?"

"Little brother," Hoss said between bites, "If you want a larger breakfast you should get up earlier and attack the Indians after you eat."

Joe moaned "I will die of hunger just because I was trying to save my family."

Ben heartily laughed as Joe grabbed his stomach and staggered forward, dramatically falling to the ground.

"Help…" Joe mock groaned. "Need…food…must…save…family…from…Indians…Ahhh…" Joe ended his presentation with an exaggerated flop onto his back.

Hoss laughed harder and harder until he could barely breathe.

Joe collected himself then sat down in his seat. "Now, seriously I would like a little breakfast." He said reaching for the eggs.

Ben smiled at Joe and Hoss' antics. They were always making each other, and those around them laugh.

Hoss remarked "It's too bad Jeni missed the Indian raid. It seems like it's been a long time since I've seen her laugh."

Ben frowned. "That's true." He thought. "Ever since the letters from Adam stopped, Jeni has become a shell of who she once was. Adam being gone is wearing on us all. Even my temper has gotten shorter and shorter. It'll do us all good whenever he returns."

At that moment in Ben's thoughts, Jeni stormed down the stairs and rushed by the table saying "Morning. Sorry I'm late, not hungry. See ya later." She grabbed her hat and gun belt from the credenza and was out the door.

Ben looked startled then regained his fatherly face and steadily walked to the door. When he reached the door, he flung it open, shouting "Jenifer Marie Cartwright! Come back here this instant!"

Jeni was in the barn saddling her horse, Candle when she heard her name shouted across the yard. Her full name. Jeni heaved a sigh. "I can't just leave the house to go to work without getting the third degree." She complained under her breath. She slowly finished saddling Candle and walked him up to the hitching post then walked to the door where her father stood, bristling since she had made him wait.

"Yes, Pa." she said calmly.

"What do you think you are doing?" Ben seethed. His children knew better than to make him wait when he called their name.

"Going to work." Jeni replied shortly. "I haven't finished mending that patch of broken fence on the south side."

"Without breakfast or a proper good morning to anyone?" Ben objected.

Jeni's shoulders slumped. "Is that all?" she asked.

"What do you mean 'is that all?'?" Ben glared.

Jeni sighed and crossed her arms. "I am sorry for not sitting down and eating with you."

"And?" Ben prodded.

Jeni looked confused. "That's all, isn't it?"

Ben looked at his daughter, anger written in bold all over his reddening face.

Jeni saw the signs and got frustrated. "I didn't know it was a crime to skip breakfast and get to work quickly!" she fumed

"Oh you really don't get it, do you?" Ben saw red.

"What?" Jeni shouted. "I'm not a mind reader, Pa!"

Jeni was yelling loudly. Hoss sensed a full out tongue lashing was coming and wished he'd left when he'd had the chance. Now he had to watch as his father's wrath came down.

"All I did was say good morning that I wasn't hungry and that I'd see you later!" Jeni continued in her defense. "I didn't know I wasn't allowed to skip a meal! Can't I get on with my life without getting the third degree on every move I make!"

Ben had lost control on his temper a while back and the blatant disrespect he was getting from his daughter was adding insult to injury. "You know better than to make me wait when I call you!" he proclaimed. "Now you listen to me…"

"No, Pa, you listen!" Jeni interrupted angrily. "I don't understand why you blow your top at the slightest thing. Can't you let me go away and be alone for one damn second?"

All Ben's reason departed at the curse word that came from his child's mouth. The rest of Jeni's speech was cut short by a loud smack.

Jeni gasped and her hand flew to her cheek. "P..Pa" she stuttered in shock. She turned and flew out of the house, mounted her horse, and galloped away leaving the house in complete silence.

Ben's vision cleared as his blood pressure returned to normal. "What have I done?" Ben thought as he realized that he had just slapped his child, something he had sworn he would never do. He didn't know whether to follow her immediately or to give her time to cool off. He turned to look at Joe and Hoss. They sat at the table in shock.

Hop Sing had been in the kitchen, but had heard the whole argument. He came out of the kitchen. "Mister Cartlight, you betta go aftah Missy Cartlight." He said, grabbing Ben's hat and gun belt and handing them to him. "She do crazy things when she hurt. She has head start. You betta catch her."

Ben grimaced as he took his things from his wise cook. "Hoss, you and Joe finish up breakfast and get started on your chores." Ben said as he strapped on his gun belt.

Just as the door closed behind Ben, Hoss managed to say "Yes sir."

Joe turned to Hoss. "I can't believe I just saw that!"

"Neither can I, short shanks." Hoss responded.

"Pa just lost his temper at nothing and hit Jeni! I can't believe it!"

Jeni rode hard and didn't look back. Her cheek was on fire. "That is gonna be a heck of a bruise." She winced. Thoughts kept spiraling in her head. "First Adam leaves and stops writing to me, now Pa hates me. I am so stupid!" Tears ran down her face. The reckless speed she was pushing the horse to was insane. She knew that and didn't care. "Pa hates me. I can't go back or let them catch me." Candle stumbled over some loose rock and Jeni, not expecting the movement, flew over the head of her horse straight into a tree. As she was in the air, Jeni thought "Dang, Pa is gonna kill me if the horse is hurt."

Ben tore through the forest. "Why did I do that?" he asked himself. "Why didn't I just ask her to sit down at the table and leave it at that? I've never hit one of my children. Oh, God please let me find her soon. Let me know what to say. I hit her hard." Ben winced as he remembered striking his daughter. His hand still stung, if from actual pain or from memory, he wasn't sure. "Why does my temper always get the best of me?" He stopped short when he heard a far off sound. It sounded like a scream. "Could that be Jeni?" he thought. His horse panted heavily. Ben turned his horse in the direction of the scream and prayed he wasn't too late.

Jeni woke face down on the ground. She rolled over and groaned. Her hands were tied in front of her. "What?" she thought. "How did this happen?" She winced as pain pounded in her head. She tried to sit up but pain exploded in her ribs. Gasping she lay on the floor examining her surroundings. She glanced around trying to get her bearings. She was in a cabin, more of a shack really. "I need to sit up and see how to get out of here." She thought. "This is the worst day ever to get kidnapped. Now Pa's gonna think I've run off." She shook her head. "Maybe that'll make him happy."

Jeni managed to scoot against a wall and slowly stand up. She breathed heavily. "How did my ribs get hit? I'm fairly certain the tree picked a fight with my head and that's it." She leaned against the wall. "Well that's a relief. Only broken ribs and a bashed head." She thought sarcastically. She hesitantly made her way to the window. The glass in the window was broken and a few shards remained wedged in the frame. Jeni began rubbing the rope that bound her hands across the sharp edge of the glass. The ropes gave way. She leaned back against the wall to try and figure out what was going on.

Ben continued making his way through the forest in the direction of the scream looking for signs of a speeding horse. He came to a clearing of sorts and dismounted to look for tracks. After several minutes of looking, he found a set of tracks that went straight for a distance then halted abruptly making deep indentations in the ground as if a horse had stumbled, stopped then wandered away. Ben looked up from where the indentations were and found himself staring at a tree. He stepped closer to get a better look. A streak of red was dripping down the trunk. Ben touched it and realized what it was: blood. Still fresh. "Dear Lord please let her be alright." He prayed as he swung back onto his horse to follow what he both hoped were and hoped wasn't Jeni's tracks.

Jeni reached the door and cracked it open. "I wish I had a gun." She thought. "Wait! Where is my gun?" She reached to her right side, where her gun normally rested. Gone, holster, belt, and all. "Dang, Pa really is gonna kill me. First the horse, now the gun. What next?" Jeni peeked outside the cracked door. Two horses were tied to the hitching post. One was a bay. The other was black with brown specks. Jeni's brow creased in thought. "I've seen that horse before. Odd color combination." A name danced at the back of her mind, drowned out by her pounding headache. "Who was it?" She wracked her brain. "D… D… D something… David? No. Drew? No." Jeni's frown deepened.

A twig snapped. She jerked her head in the direction of the sound. She immediately regretted the fast action, pausing as a wave of dizziness and nausea rushed over her. Recovering, she realized that she needed to get away now before they, whoever they were, checked on her. She didn't even know how much time had passed since she had left home or where she was. She took a step off the porch and the stair broke. She tumbled to the ground, landing on her back. Groaning, she slowly sat up wondering if the whole escape was just a big set up. Instead of standing, Jeni crawled to the nearest tree for support. Leaning against it, she felt like sleeping right there. Breathing hard, she wrapped her arm around her ribs, wincing, and steeled herself for whatever was going to happen. She made it to her feet and began walking. She had no clue what direction to go; she just walked, praying to God that it was the right way.

A rider bolted through the forest. Dodging trees and ducking branches, he wondered "What direction am I to be going in, exactly?" He'd followed the tracks for miles, but he wasn't sure if he was following the right tracks. "Mr. Cartwright!" he shouted. "Mr. Cartwright!" he coughed. All the yelling was making him hoarse. "I gotta find the boss quick. And not jus to save me poor voice!"

Ben heard a horse running.

"Mr. Cartwright!"

Ben heard his name called. The voiced sounded panicked.

"Mr. Cartwright!"

"Over here!" Ben called back.

Ben turned as Patrick, the new Irish hand, rode up. Ben had always enjoyed listening to the lilt of his voice, but now hardly seemed the time.

"Mr. Cartwright." Patrick gasped. "Thank God I've found ye at last! There's trouble at the house, sir. A ransom note was found regarded yer lass."

"A ransom note?" Ben questioned. "That's impossible. She's only just now went missing."

"Ahh… Sir, do you know how long ye've been out here?" Patrick asked.

"Well, no I…" Ben started

"Well sir," Patrick interrupted, "It's past lunch. Ye've been gone more than 6 hours. That's plenty of time for someone to have caught yer lass and send the not. Plus, she was ridn' hard and not paying much attention to what was in front of her."

Ben glanced up sharply. "How do you know that?"

"We all know, sir." Patrick explained. "Ye weren't exactly quiet in yer…discussion this mornin'."

Ben grimaced and asked for the millionth time "What have I done?"

Patrick reached out and put his hand on his employer's shoulder. "I suggest ye get back to the house and read the note to get the lass back. Let's keep a cool head on our shoulders and we'll have her back before ye know it."

Ben looked at the man standing before him. "I should hire more Irish." He proclaimed.

Patrick grinned. "Let's go save the lass and then we'll see about gettn' some more Irish."

Jeni stumbled over a root, barely maintaining her balance. She swore under her breath. "Pa would love to hear that one." She thought ruefully. She heard hoof beats in the distance. "I hope that's Pa…I think." She listened carefully. The sounds of approaching horses neared. Suddenly, the horses stopped several yards away. Jeni hid behind a tree, just in case. The last thing she needed to do was to run straight back to the people who had taken her.

"What do you see, Doug?" a voice called out.

"Doug!" Jeni thought. "Doug Fletcher, of course! The black and brown horse is his. He works for my father." Jeni listened closer.

"C'mon Reed. She's long gone." Doug whined.

"No way." Reed responded. "She can't have gotten too far. She's got a banged head and we kicked her around a bit to make her sore enough to slow her down. Besides, we'll be in big trouble if we lose her now. This is all your fault, you know?"

"My fault?" Doug answered. "How is it my fault?"

"It was your dadblasted idea to stop at that line shack to fish for supper." Reed accused.

"Well you were hungry too." Doug defended.

"Shut up, you moron." Reed said as he continued searching for Jeni.

Jeni felt darkness seeping in the corners of her vision. "No." she thought. "I've gotta get home. Gotta get to Pa. Gotta move." She turned and began running. She heard the two men behind her chase after her. "They're gonna catch me." She thought. "It's all over. I wish I could've ended on a better note with Pa. I hope he still knows I love him."

She kept running. White-hot pain erupted in her left side. She screamed, stumbling to her knees, tempted to give up right there.

Adam's voice burst out in her mind. "Jeni, you listen here, no matter how hard it gets, you never give up. You know why? Because you have a family who'll never give up on you."

Blindly, Jeni staggered to her feet and started running again, clutching her bleeding side.

Several yards behind her, Reed Simmons swore loudly. "We'll either have to head her off or wing her again and I don't think we can head her off. She's running crazy like."

"Aw…Reed." Doug complained in his nasal voice. "Can't we just forget her?"

"Heck no!" Reed spat. "You've already done most of your job. You waited for her to leave. You left the ransom note. Can't you see that we're already too far in? Besides, don't you want your money?"

Doug looked unsure. "Well, yeah, I want my money, but I don't want to have to kill some purty little gal for it."

"We don't do the planning." Reed replied. "Just the fetching."

Hoss looked up at the sound of horses. He was relieved to see his father and Patrick ride into the yard. "Pa!" Hoss yelled. "Pa, I'm glad you're home safe. I found this note on the side door a couple of hours after you left. I got real worried so I got Joe in the house and sent Patrick here after you."

Ben nodded. "Good job, son." He held out his hand. "Now let's see the note."

Mr. Cartwright,

As you know, we have your daughter. A hunch says you want her back, though if you don't, I'll gladly keep her. She's a pretty little thing. I suppose I'll probably have to be content with the short amount of time I'll have with her before you produce the ransom. I'll have to cram all my fun into a few nights. I'm sure by now I've got you absolutely fuming with anger and worried sick. You should be.

On the subject of ransom, I'm sure you'd pay any amount of money to get your dearest daughter back, so I've decided to stay away from cash. I'm also sure you'd give me any amount of land, even the Ponderosa itself, but I don't want land.

For the return of your daughter, you must give me your son. Your eldest son. Whenever you get the opportunity, send Adam down to the small cabin in Red Rock Canyon and Jeni can come home. Send your dear Adam soon because I don't know how long your fragile and wounded youngest will last.

Revenge is so sweet.

Happy decision making

Ben's hands shook as he read and reread the note. "Dear Lord, help her!" he gasped. "She's in the hands of madmen!" He fell to his knees, at a loss. "What am I to do?"

Jeni lay behind a rotting log, gasping for breath. Dark spots flashed before her eyes as consciousness ebbed.

"Little girl?" Reed called tauntingly. "Oh little girl?"

In a dazed state of mind, Jeni wondered numbly, "Who is he talking too?"

"Come on out." Reed mock crooned. "I don't want to have to shoot you again."

Through the fog, Jeni put two and two together. "He's talking to me?" She tried to push herself even closer to the log. She knew she wouldn't make it two steps running. Her only hope was to lay very still in the protection offered by the log and hope they just passed her by. If only she could stay conscious.

"She ain't coming out." Doug said in an exasperated tone.

Reed looked at his partner in disgust then resumed his hide and go seek charade. "If I were a little girl, where would I hide?" He looked around the clearing and his eyes came to rest on a rotted log. He sneered and advanced towards it. He raised his gun.

Jeni's mind fluttered back to awareness. "I'm bleeding a lot." She though vaguely. "Someone is coming towards me." She felt detached, as if she was watching the scene unfold. Pain rippled through her body in huge, nauseating waves. She bit back a moan. She heard a gun click. "He's found me." She realized. "I'm going to die." The gun fired. With an agonizing scream, Jeni reacted to the bullet ripping through her right thigh.

Reed smiled a cocky grin. "I got her."

Three of the four Cartwright men were in the great room, all absorbed in panicked thoughts with a common pulse: the safety of the youngest family member.

Hoss sat in his elder brother's favorite chair asking God to give him Adam's brains to figure out what to do.

Joe sat on the sofa and stared at the checkerboard with tears running down his face. "Dear God," he prayed, "please get Jeni home to us!"

Ben paced the floor. He thought through everything that had happened trying to find something that would give some sort of clue as to who was behind this. "I've sent for the sheriff. I've read and reread the note for clues. Nothing. There is nothing!" He ran his fingers through his hair. "Dear Lord, give me wisdom." A tear trickled down his cheek. "My dear Jeni. So much like me. What would I do without her?"

"Pa?" Hoss fidgeted. "Do you want to send for Adam?"

Ben exhaled slowly. "No, not yet. We have to try any other way first. Even if your brother did come back, I'd still lose a child. If someone told him what has happened, he'd come down and give himself up. There must be another way."

"I have an idea, Pa." Joe said confidently. "Maybe we could get someone that kinda looks like Adam, you know, from a distance. Then we could send him in and surround the canyon and when the kidnapper comes out: BANG!" Joe clapped his hands loudly. "We blow his brains out!"

"Aw… Joe, that'd never work." Hoss mildly rebuked. "Besides, we wouldn't want to put anyone in the danger that the fake Adam would be in."

Ben looked thoughtful. "What a minute, Hoss!" Ben exclaimed. "That might just work! I could put on some of Adam's clothes and…"

"Pa." Joe interrupted. "That wouldn't work. You don't look enough like Adam. The only 2 people I can think of that look sort of like Adam are Chuck Davis, our main hand, and Reed Simmons, that crazy deadbeat from town."

Ben looked deflated. "You're right, Joe, and we couldn't ask Chuck or Reed to do that."

At that moment, Sheriff Coffee and Chuck Davis walked in the door. "Couldn't ask Chuck or Reed to do what?" Chuck asked.

"Oh, nothing." Ben replied with a wave of his hand.

"Is that a nothing 'nothing' or a something 'nothing'?" Chuck pressed. "I've worked for you for around 13 years now. I've known Jeni all her life. I know that 'nothing' has something to do with her. What is it you need me to do, boss?" Chuck settled into a seat. "I'm all ears."

Jeni moaned as Doug threw her unconscious body stomach down over a saddle.

Doug giggled, "I didn't think we'd actually catch her and now we got her and we gonna get out money from the boss and spend it on the 2 W's: women and whiskey."

"Oh Doug, just shut up." Reed reprimanded. "We gotta get to that shack in the canyon before somebody picks up the trail."

"Right, sure thing, Reed." Doug responded, still giggling.

"Shut up!" Reed yelled, his voice echoing ominously.

Doug sank back into his saddle whimpering.

"Let's move." Reed ordered.

They made it to the shack just as darkness fell. Reed broke the silence. "Doug, you put the horses away for the night and I'll take the girl to the boss."

"Aw… Reed." Doug complained. "Why do you always get the fun part?"

"Shut your trap! I get to because I am the obvious brains of this operation, that's why." Reed grabbed Jeni, who had remained unconscious for the entire ride, and slung her over his shoulder. He marveled at how light the girl was compared to how stubborn she had been. Feeling how small she was, he wondered for a fleeting moment if he should stop what he was doing and let her go. Shaking off the feeling, he kicked open the door and declared loudly, "We got her, boss."

A deep voice surged through the darkness of the shack. "I can see that." A tall man of about 32 emerged, holding a pipe in his hand. The man's cold blue eyes rested on Jeni's still form and, if possible, went colder. "You idiot!" The man bellowed, smacking Reed on the face. "Is she still alive? I told you to bring her to me, not kill her!"

Reed was still recovering from the blow and didn't have time to answer before he was again smacked in the face.

"Answer me!" the man demanded.

"Well, boss…" Reed began.

"Oh never mind." The man interrupted. "No reason is good enough. As long as she is still alive, the plan will remain unaltered."

"She's still alive, sir." Reed replied, wishing he had let Doug come in first.

"Well, lay her down on the bed and tie her to the posts." The man ordered. "Now phase two begins."

Ben frowned. He still didn't like the idea of sending Chuck into the canyon as Adam, but he'd been up all night and couldn't figure out an alternative plan. Truth was, Ben hadn't thought about the plan for nearly as long as he had thought about the fact that his beloved daughter was in the hands of maniacs that were doing God knows what awful things to her and it was his fault.

"Will she forgive me?" Ben asked himself. "Will she live to forgive me? No! I can't think like that. Of course she will live." Just as his conscience told him that, another part of him retaliated.

"Let's be realistic here. Even if she does live, she probably won't forgive you for getting her into the mess that scarred her for life."

"No! You know your daughter better than that! She most likely blames herself for what happened. You know that she loves you even when she doesn't show it."

"But what if there was too much abuse? What if they do the unthinkable to her and she gets pregnant? She's too small to carry a baby full-term and she's wounded, the letter said so. What if she does live and is pregnant and makes it home? Then the baby dies for sure and she probably will too. What will her last words to you, the father who hit her and drove her straight into her torturer's hands, be?"

Ben anguished over questions and what ifs until he finally dropped into a fitful sleep filled with unsettling dreams.

The first dream was a memory and started with Marie holding a baby Jeni. "You know, Ben." Marie spoke motioning towards baby Joe, who was being held by Ben, "Everyone says Joseph looks like me and I can see that, but no one has really said who Jenifer looks like."

"That's true, honey." Ben replied. "Who do you think she looks like?"

Marie smiled as she studied the beautiful baby girl's soft features. As Marie stared, the baby woke, opening her dark eyes and looking straight into her mother's. "Oh!" Marie gasped.

"What is it, darling? Are you alright?" Ben asked, alarmed.

"No, Ben, I'm fine, really." Marie responded with a smile. "It's just, I know who she looks like. When she woke, she stared me straight in the eye as if to say a million things and ask a million questions at once, but one thought overrode them all. Love." Tears sprang to Marie's eyes. "Just like yours, Ben. Jeni looks like you. I can see it clearly now." The happy couple smiled at each other and at the two babies they held.

The dream faded into another setting, quite different from the first. It was a dark room and all Ben could see was a bed in the corner with a small figure lying on its side, face turned towards the wall. Ben saw himself move closer to find out who it was. The figure rolled over onto its back and Ben gasped in horror at what he saw.

It was Jeni, beaten and bloodied; wearing rags that barely covered her thin, emaciated body. Jeni opened blue-tinged eyelids and stared with lifeless eyes. Her blue lips parted slowly as if waiting for a kiss, whether of life or death, Ben knew not. Her auburn hair was fanned about her and her skin deathly pale. She looked strangely beautiful, yet obviously in great pain.

"Pa." Jeni spoke slowly.

"Yes, baby, I'm here." Ben tried to comfort. "Everything will be alright."

Jeni closed her eyes slowly then opened them once more. "Pa, why did you hit me? Did you want me to run off?"

Ben started to answer, but the scene changed once more. This time Jeni was laying in her own bed at the Ponderosa with Doctor Paul Martin leaning over her.

"Ben," the doctor said, "I'm afraid it doesn't look good. The baby is coming much too early and Jeni is far too weak. I'm sorry to say that there is not much I can do." Paul shook his head. "I'll deliver the baby, but it is most likely dead and the effort will probably kill Jeni. I'm sorry." The doctor turned away from Ben as Jeni screamed.

"Oh God help me!" She cried out, voice laced with pain. "It's coming!"

Ben rushed to her side. "Jeni, it's alright. You're gonna make out just fine."

Jeni turned her pain ravaged eyes to her father. She formed her lips to say something, but another birth pain came and she screamed again.

"Push, Jeni!" Paul yelled. "Push now!"

Blood issued forth. "Oh God help…" Jeni moaned. Painful contractions continued and Jeni became weaker with each one. She barely had strength to scream.

Suddenly, it all ended. Doc Martin tried to keep Jeni from seeing the body of her lifeless child, but she caught a glimpse as he rushed out of the room. Jeni was drenched in sweat and the bed was covered in blood. Her life was slipping away.

Ben grabbed her hand and pleaded. "Come on, Jeni. You can survive this."

Jeni's eyes looked into her fathers and Ben had never seen a sadder sight. The eyes that had once sparkled with life and love were dulled by pain and death.

Jeni whispered her final words in his ear. "This is your fault." She exhaled and her body went limp, never to breathe again.

Ben woke in a cold sweat screaming into the night. "NO! Dear God, no! We've got to find her!"

Miles away in a shack in a canyon, Jeni also dreamed. She was standing in the breakfast room of her home. She walked to the great room and was surprised to find Adam sitting there with his head in his hands. She moved closer to comfort him, but stopped when he started speaking.

"Oh Pa." Adam groaned. "Why? It wasn't your fault she was killed. It was her own fault. She got her family into this mess."

Jeni tried to get Adam's attention, pleading "Adam, I'm sorry! I didn't know! Adam please!"

Adam didn't react to anything she said. He continued "Why did you go and end your life just because of a stupid and reckless girl getting herself killed?"

Jeni had no time to process what Adam had said, for the scene changed. She was in the barn. It was dark and silent. Some birds scattered, startled by Jeni's presence. Jumping back from the birds, Jeni bumped into something behind her. She turned to see what it was. Ben was hanging from the rafters. Spittle had formed at the corners of his blue lips. His dulled eyes stared listlessly into oblivion. He swayed slowly back and forth.

A hand tapped Jeni's shoulder. Joe looked back at her angrily. "It's your fault, you know." He accused. "If you had just done as you were told, he wouldn't be dead."

Hoss came in behind his brother. "He's right!" he fumed. "It's your fault Pa is dead. You may as well have hung him yourself."

"You know, Jeni," Adam joined his brothers, "I never expected much out of a stuttering, stupid, inadequate, girl anyway. You just had to top all your mistakes with one really big one that killed your father."

Jeni stepped back in horror. "No!" She screamed. "I didn't mean too! Please! I take it back! I never meant for this to happen! Please no! Pa! I'm sorry!"

Reed snapped awake. She was screaming, again. Always calling out to her Pa and brothers, telling them she was sorry. "Sorry?" Reed thought. "Sorry for what?"

Jeni moaned. "Adam, please help me. I'm sorry, Adam. Please." She mumbled something else then cried out again. "Pa! I'm sorry! I didn't mean too! It's my fault!" She thrashed deliriously, pulling against the ropes that bound her to the bed posts.

Reed jumped out of his chair to try and wake her, but was stopped by a strong hand clamping down on his shoulder. Reed was startled. "What?" he tried to ask.

"Wait." His boss commanded. "Let's see what she says. It may be useful to us at a later time."

So Reed sat back down, feeling miserable and guilty.

"Now, Ben, let's be reasonable!" Sheriff Roy Coffee had woken in the guest room of the Ponderosa to a raging father that was chomping at the bit to rescue his only daughter. "You can't go storming in there today and expect them to believe that Chuck here is actually Adam. It takes a few days to get here from the East. We are pushing it by going tomorrow. That story that we've concocted that Adam was already on his way is foolishness. No man in his right mind would believe it."

"That's just it, Roy." Ben argued. "These men are clearly not in their right mind and they have my little girl!"

"I understand, Ben, really I do, but if we rush in there half cocked, then they'll be more likely to kill her and some of us." Roy tried to convince his friend.

Ben stepped back and took a deep breath. Reason told him that Roy was right, but his paternal instinct was roaring inside of him like a caged lion, waiting to be unleashed onto the scumbags that had his child. "One day." Ben conceded. "But that's it! After that, we're going in whether our story is believable or not."

Roy nodded. He had expected as much. "Now, Ben there is something I wanted to talk to you about."

Ben sat down, looking defeated. "What is it, Roy?"

"Well, here's what I've figured about this whole situation." Roy sat down and leaned back in his chair. "The only way it works is for them to have someone on the inside?"

Ben blew air out of the corner of his mouth. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that for those guys to know that Jeni was gone, grab her, and leave the note so fast there must be someone here on the ranch that is in on it." Roy explained.

Ben gripped the armrests of his chair until his knuckles turned white. "What?"

"I think it must be one of the hands, Ben." Roy stated. "Have you had any trouble with a particular hand?"

Ben shook his head. "None. All the hands seem to like their jobs and none of them have expressed any problems with me or Jeni. Most of the hands don't even know Adam."

Roy nodded. "I was afraid of that. The only other thing I can figure is that someone who is holding a grudge hired one of the hands to be their spy."

Ben felt sick to his stomach. He hated the idea that someone so close by to the family could've done such a horrible thing. If he ever got his hands on the man that did this…

"So here's what I'm thinking." Roy interrupted Ben's mental beating of an unknown ranch hand. "We let it slip that Adam had been planning a surprise trip for months now and he had left school days ago headed back here. Tell people that he will be arriving tomorrow. Maybe that will give credence to the story."

"Okay." Ben agreed. "Let's do it."

Doug was exhausted. After all, he was not only working at the Ponderosa, he was also aiding in kidnapping. It had been a long day and night and he'd barely gotten any sleep, but he still had to be present for work or he would be under suspicion. At least, that's what Reed had said.

So, there he was, mending fences and rounding up stray cows. He was also keeping an ear open for any plans the Cartwrights made to rescue Jeni. He hadn't worked for the Cartwrights for long, but he knew that they talked freely with the hands and he was hoping they would talk about how they would try to save her. Then he could report back with important news. That would make Reed so mad. He giggled. He stopped himself when he saw Ben Cartwright ride up.

"Hey there, Doug." Ben greeted.

Doug tried to hide his nervousness. "Howdy, Mr. Cartwright."

"How's that fence coming?" Ben asked.

"Jus' fine, sir." Doug answered. Then he decided to push for information. "Wasn't this the fence Jeni was supposed to finish?"

Ben visibly flinched at his daughter's name. "Yes, I believe so."

"That's just awful what happened. Any word on what the kidnappers want?" Doug pressed harder.

Ben shifted in his saddle. "They want to talk to my eldest son, Adam."

"Shoot, boss." Doug played dumb, which wasn't excessively hard for him. "I didn't even know you had another son."

Ben nodded. "I didn't think you did. You haven't worked with us long enough. Adam is back east going to college. Luckily enough, he was already planning a surprise visit home and he left several days ago. He'll be here tomorrow."

Doug inwardly smiled. Reed was gonna be so mad when he delivered this little tidbit. "Well that is good news, sir." Doug responded. "I sure hope everything turns out okay."

"Me too, Doug." Ben said grimly. "Well, I'll leave you to your work. Have a good day." Ben finished as he turned his horse and headed off.

"You too, sir!" Doug called after him. Doug whistled as he finished repairing the fence. He was having a very good day.

Jeni woke, her body screaming in agony. She closed her eyes waiting for the waves of pain to stop rolling in. When they didn't, she opened her eyes once more. Standing over her was a large man. Lurking in the shadows cast by the sun streaming in the one window was a strangely familiar figure. As the figure came closer, shock tingled up Jeni's spine.

"Adam?" Jeni whispered. "Adam is that you? Help me please. I need to get home to Pa. Adam?" Despair flooded her whole being as the man she thought to be her beloved brother turned his back on her and walked out the door. "Adam!" she cried. "Adam wait! I need you! Come back please!" She tried to sit up, but the ropes held her back and the effort ripped open the wound in her side.

A spasm of pain engulfed her body and she screamed like an animal. Writhing and arching her back up off the bed, she tried to escape. The blood leaking onto the bed was taking her strength with it. As she slipped from reality, one question lay on her lips. "Adam, why?"

The tall man smiled with grim satisfaction. "Oh yes." He thought gleefully. "Adam Cartwright will pay for what he's done." He turned from Jeni to sit by the fire and think through the plan once more. He was a thinking man. He always thought things through to the tiniest little detail, and he had never thought wrong, until the day that he met Adam Cartwright.

He met Adam completely by accident. He was a senior at the top of his debate class. The teacher adored him. His classmates honored him. He won every single debate in class. Life was good for him. He was preparing to be a lawyer and at the end of the school year, some lawyers from prestigious local firms were going to sit in on the final debate to see if there were any students they would consider offering jobs. If any student did poorly at the debate, nothing 'official' happened, but everyone knew that any lawyer who wanted to succeed had to do well at this debate.

It was the day of the anticipated debate and as he prepared to argue his case, the teacher approached him. "What's wrong, teach?"

"How can you always tell?" the young female professor crooned.

"Maybe because I can read faces like a book." He suggested freshly.

"Listen, doll, I hate to tell you, but we've got an odd number in class today. Avery Williams came down with the flu. Everyone else is already paired off for the debate. You won't be able to debate unless you find someone, anyone to debate within the hour. I'll stall as long as I can for you, but you have got to find someone to debate." She smiled and shrugged her shoulders in apology then walked away.

Shocked, he sat unmoving for several moments. How was he supposed to find someone that would debate him in an hour?

"Excuse me?" a baritone voice from behind startled him. "I couldn't help but overhear the conversation you just had. I'm sorry. I know how important this debate is. My roommate is in that class."

"That's none of your business." He glared angrily.

The dark haired freshman, by the looks of him, coughed. "Listen. I have a free period right now and, if you want, I'd like to debate you. I was thinking about taking the class, so this will give me a chance to see if it is something I would like to do. It would also help you since you need a partner and I have never taken debate so you'll have the upper hand."

He thought for a moment, then smiled. "This will be a piece of cake." He thought. He stuck out his hand. "Gerald Spaeth."

"Cartwright. Adam Cartwright."

"Oh yeah! Just wanted to see if you wanted to take the class!" Gerald fumed inwardly as he remembered. "He humiliated me." Gerald slammed his fist into the wall. "My career destroyed by some freshman with no 'experience.'" He smiled maliciously. "I bided my time. I investigated him until I knew which side of the bed he preferred to sleep on. I intercepted his mail for months. When I learned about his relationship with his sweet little sister, I knew this was it. The only thing that could completely destroy him had to be his sister."

"Then my plan got bigger." Spaeth continued. "I cut off all letters between him and his sister. Then I found someone who looked like the double-crosser. Then I bribed a hand to be my spy." He grinned. "The mind is a funny thing. I intend to so convince precious little Jeni that her loving brother has abandoned her, hurt her even, that she will hate him. If she dies in the process, that is just as well. It will still kill him, but if things pan out the way I expect I will be tearing the family apart from the grave."

"Enough reminiscing." He finished his thought process. "Time to do some more damage."

"REED!" Gerald called.

Reed came to the door. Behind him was the simpering Doug.

"Doug, I didn't call you! Get out!" Gerald commanded.

"Wait! I got some news from the Ponderosa!" Doug interjected.

"Alright make it fast." Gerald said exasperated.

"They're coming tomorrow. Adam was already on his way home for a surprise visit and he'll be here tomorrow." Doug reported proudly.

Gerald rolled his eyes. "A likely story. No matter. This lie does not diminish my plan. I expected as much. You can go now." He dismissed Doug with a wave of his hand.

Doug sulked as he left the room, disappointed his news was apparently unimportant.

"Now, Reed, come in here. I'm gonna wake her up again. You just stand there and make sure she can see you." Gerald instructed. "Don't hit her until she is alert and aware of what's going on."

From the other room, they heard Jeni crying out in her sleep. "Don't Adam! Please stop hurting me! No more, please!"

Reed hesitated.

"You want to get paid?" Gerald threatened.

Reed came inside, feeling sick. What a time to grow a conscience.

It was early in the morning when Chuck stood in front of the mirror checking himself over. "Yep." He thought. "I really do look like Adam in this get-up. Kinda strange that I never thought much of the resemblance before. Oh, I hope this works. We gotta get Jeni back or this family will fall apart.

Chuck came down the stairs to find the Cartwrights and Sheriff Coffee waiting for him. "Whew!" the sheriff whistled. "If I didn't know any better, I'd confuse you with Adam Cartwright in a heartbeat. Those clothes really work a miracle."

Ben nodded. "It'll do. Let's get going."

And with that they headed outside to join the small posse that was waiting to accompany them to Red Rock Canyon.

The plan was to send Chuck out about 5 minutes ahead of the group. As he started riding he couldn't help but think about Jeni. "She's a fiery little thing." He thought with a smile. "Always quick to defend the helpless. She misses Adam desperately." Chuck frowned. "If she is dead there will be hell to pay and that's just from me."

As the canyon came into sight, Chuck cleared his head of all thoughts but one: get Jeni out alive, no matter the cost.

Several miles behind, Hoss rode along, glancing sideways at his father. He noticed that he seemed to have aged overnight. He looked ten years older. Worry lines creased over the faintly visible laugh lines and the light in his eyes had faded to a dull glaze. Hoss prayed like he had for the past two days: hard.

Slumped in the saddle, Joe barely saw anyone around him. He was so emotionally spent that he couldn't even think straight anymore. All he wanted was for Jeni to be riding next to him, laughing about something, then racing him home. Tears welled up in his eyes along with a fierce determination in his heart.

As Chuck came in sight of a small cabin, he pulled his horse to a stop. "Hello!" he shouted. "Is anyone there?" His voice echoed back to him eerily.

A deep voice resonated off the canyon walls. "Adam Cartwright. Come forward."

Chuck paused. "I'm not moving until I see that Jeni is okay."

A laugh bounced back at him. "Always smart about what you're doing, huh?" Very well. Here you go. Take her." Spaeth walked out of the cabin holding the limp form of Jeni Cartwright. Gerald took a few steps then slung Jeni over his shoulder. She didn't make a sound. He grinned. His work here was almost done.

As he neared the person he knew to be a fake Adam, he declared, "Well Cartwright you asked for her. Here she is." With that, he dropped Jeni to the ground. Only a small cry escaped her lips.

Chuck was mortified. "What do you want me to do?"

Gerald shrugged. "Reed! Doug!"

Reed and Doug came out of the cabin with their guns drawn. They walked up beside Gerald.

Not really knowing what to do, Chuck knelt beside Jeni's body. She was barely breathing and she looked awful. Covered in blood, bruises, gashes, and what looked like gunshot wounds, she was barely even alive. "You are sick sick men." Chuck hissed.

Gerald smiled. "Tell Adam that Gerald Spaeth said hey."

Chuck gave Gerald a confused look then called out "You coward! How could you do this to a young girl?"

Only a few yards behind, hidden by the rocks, was the posse. Upon hearing Chuck's last statement, they all kicked their horses into high gear. That was the signal they had been waiting for. The posse stampeded the canyon, shots being fired in all directions.

Chuck grabbed Jeni and mounted his horse and rode hard towards the house where Doc Martin was waiting.

Hearing the shots and the posse come in Doug and Reed scrambled to find shelter behind some rocks. Gerald was right behind them. They turned to look to him for instruction and, with a slight smile, he shot them both. He stepped out so all could see him and put his gun to his temple. "You lose, Cartwright." The shot from his gun silenced all other shots as the group watched Gerald shoot himself.

Ben, Hoss, and Joe barely even noticed. As soon as the last shot was fired, they turned their horses home, to Jeni.

(FLASHBACK ENDS)


	4. Chapter 4

"Jeni obviously recovered and everything returned to normal." Joe said. "It wasn't an easy recovery, Adam. She was hurt bad. It took months of healing."

Adam sat back, shocked. "And why didn't anyone tell me this?"

Joe shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "Well, you know how Jeni talks in her sleep. She was always talking about you. How you were leaving her or hurting her and other stuff like that. Then one day, she woke up and was alert for the first time since she'd been taken and she was really confused. Turns out that she didn't remember anything after she ran into the tree."

Joe took a deep breath and continued. "Doc Martin said it was because sometimes the brain blocks out times of extreme pain and it was better not to try and make her remember. One day Hoss accidentally mentioned something about Gerald Spaeth and Jeni got all white in the face and passed out. When she woke up, she still didn't remember anything. Doc said the memories might come back one day if she gets a head injury or sees something that triggers the memory. That was why we were all so worried about when you came back from college and that is why she acts the way she does towards you. The thing is that she doesn't know why she acts that way."

Adam sat with his head in his hands. Joe had gone to bed to give Adam time to think through everything he had told him. Adam felt tears in his eyes. "I feel like such a failure." He thought miserably. "I caused her so much pain, physical and emotional."

He rose and stood by the couch, looking at Jeni's sleeping form. "Jeni." He whispered. "Please forgive me. I'm so sorry I wasn't there when you needed me." A sob caught in his throat as he reached down to brush away a stray tendril of auburn hair from her face. He turned to go sit, but stopped when he heard a voice.

"Of course I forgive you, Adam. I love you too much not too."

Adam turned and saw Jeni smiling at him with tears running down her face.

"Can you forgive me for thinking that you had abandoned me?" She asked.

Adam's eyes filled with tears as he lost control of his emotions. He kneeled by the couch and held her in his arms. Both cried on each other's shoulders as years of misunderstanding and hurt was washed away by the healing power of tears.

Jeni woke feeling refreshed in mind, but sore in body. She started to sit up then realized that she was sleeping in Adam's arms. She sighed happily and snuggled in closer, burying her head in his shoulder. She breathed deeply, taking in the smell of her brother. Oh, she loved him so much! Whatever had kept her from loving him to the fullest had washed away last night.

Adam felt Jeni curl up against him and he smiled. He pulled his arm up behind her and drew her closer to him. He was so incredibly happy; it felt like nothing could go wrong. All of a sudden, they both remembered.

"PA!"

They jumped up and ran into the bedroom only to find an empty bed. Jeni glanced up at Adam, worry evident in her eyes.

"Joe?" Adam called. "Hoss?"

"Pa!" Jeni shouted. "Where is everyone?"

Just then, the door opened and Pa walked in followed closely by Joe and Hoss.

"Pa." Joe said. "You shouldn't be out of bed."

"Yeah." Hoss agreed. "Dadburnit Pa, you just got over scarlet fever. You can't just get right back up. You gotta rest!"

"Oh hush!" Ben rebuked. "I'm perfectly fine. I only went downstairs to get breakfast for our two sleeping beauties before the kitchen stopped serving breakfast food. It is 10:45 you know."

Adam and Jeni looked at each other in shock.

"10:45?" Jeni questioned.

Ben looked over at his daughter. "Yes, young lady. 10:45."

Jeni looked bewildered.

"Uhh..Pa.." Adam began.

"And you! How old are you exactly? Since when have you slept this late? I realize we are kind of on vacation now, but 10:45?" Ben continued.

"Dadgummit Pa!" Hoss said, exasperated. "If you'd just listen to what me and Little Joe have been trying to tell you all morning, you'd understand."

"Well, Hoss, I'm listening." Ben stated as he set down the breakfast tray on the coffee table.

Hoss looked taken aback. "Uh..How about you tell him, Little Joe?"

"No way. I told Adam a whopper of a story last night."Joe passed the buck back to Hoss. "It's your turn now."

Ben looked aggravated. "Someone tell me what is going on right this minute."

Jeni suddenly felt weak and the room started spinning.

Adam saw her sway and caught her then took her over to the couch to sit.

Ben's look changed from mild anger to alarm instantly. "What's wrong, honey?" He asked, concerned.

"I..uh..have a concussion." Seeing the look on her father's face, she quickly amended "A mild concussion. It's not that bad at all."

Confusion flicked across Ben's face. "How in the blazes did you get a concussion and why are your arms covered in bruises?"

Jeni squirmed uncomfortably.

Adam sensed her discomfort and came to her rescue with a quick rundown of the events the previous night that led to Jeni's present state.

Ben's face showed true horror when Adam told of how he'd thrown Jeni across the room. "Jeni, dear, I am so sorry. I.."

"It's fine, Pa." Jeni interrupted. "I know you didn't mean too. There is nothing to be sorry about. You had no idea what you were doing."

Ben pursed his lips. He knew no one blamed him, but he still felt guilty.

Adam continued to tell his father of how Jeni had called for him and how Joe had told Adam the story of Jeni's kidnapping. As he said that, Adam looked at Jeni, who now took her turn at looking confused.

"My kidnapping? What are you.." Jeni stopped short. Realization hit her and memories flooded back. "Oh!" She gasped. "That kidnapping."

Ben put his hand on her knee to comfort her.

"I remember now." Jeni said, slightly dazed. "I wish I didn't." She shut her eyes tightly, trying to will away the images and feelings that came to mind. "Pa!" she said suddenly.

"What? What's wrong?

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean what I said. I know I made you angry. I don't blame you at all for hitting me. I deserved it. You should've hit me harder." Tears welled up in Jeni's eyes.

Ben reached out and wrapped his arms around her. "Oh honey. I didn't blame you. I blamed myself. I lost my temper over nothing." Suddenly Ben realized another hurt in the room. "Adam, I owe you a huge apology. I am so sorry I didn't tell you about Jeni. I didn't want to risk completely alienating the two of you and I just didn't know.."

Adam held up his hand. "I completely understand. If I had been in your place, I would've done the same thing. I'm just glad this is all behind us now."

"Me too." Hoss added. "I've never been good at keeping secrets."

Adam smiled to himself. Despite all odds, the cattle had fetched a good price and the family had made it home safely. Best of all, his relationship with Jeni had blossomed. They had become almost inseparable. Ben had fully recovered as had Jeni and they were all back in their normal places. Adam was reading Shakespeare. Jeni was reading Dickens. Joe was beating Hoss at checkers. Ben was reading the paper.

Ben glanced up from his paper and surveyed his children, all so different and unique, yet all so loved by each other and their father. "Adam, so intellectual and dependable; Hoss, so honest and trustworthy; Joe, so mischievous and full of life; And Jeni, my little girl that I almost lost, so fiery and thoughtful." Ben smiled to himself. "Thank you, Father, for the many blessings I don't deserve.

The End


End file.
